Small insects. Love the summer, love the heat, love to crawl over you when you're asleep. I'm not a fan of spiders but when a friend is in danger I will leap into action and.................., pop them outside.

That’s it. I’m going to end my blog here. The first time I mentioned this a month or so ago you were all very kind in dissuading me from doing so. The bottom line for me is that I’m not enjoying it anymore, I worry about finding the time to do it and I’m often not keen on what I do end up writing nowadays. Another reason is my personal diary, my input into that has suffered greatly and it has become very important to me of late.

I started this blog back on Sunday August 4th 2002. Thanks to Dave and Darren for getting me started on it and thank you all for the input over the past 18 or 19 months.

Thank YOU!

Those wonderful people out there in the dark……………

“Henry’s bed is Henry’s province, he can people it with sheep for all I care. Which, on occasion he has done”.

Kate Bush. The Hounds of Love will be 20 years old next year you know. God I love that album.

Bugger! I've laddered me tights!

Hello my darlings. I bring you tales from the world of showbiz. Yes, only I can push open the door that leads to the corridor of pleasure, only I can switch on the torch of excitement, only I can……………

I went to the Royal Albert Hall tonight (as a guest of the BBC – no it’s not your license money it’s was BBC World Wide, different you see, that is, different it is **) to see a glittering array of British comedy stars. In aid of a cancer charity we saw the likes of Steve Coogan hosting the evening as Alan Partridge (very good), the boys from Little Britain (excellent, the Vicky Pollard character in particular), Ricky Gervais (I had my doubts about him as a stand-up comedian but he’s good, yeah), Jimmy Carr (smooth, sharp, very quick) and The Rutles (!?). I am lucky, I know I’ve said it before but I really am VERY lucky.

** In a strong Welsh accent.

Mel Gibson, what to think? I’ve always had a problem with his homophobia and I absolutely detest that ‘I’m just a normal crazeeee guy’ thing he does. I’ve been told I should go and see The Passion Of Christ but I must confess to being very resistant.

Apparently Mother has been seen today, not by me but my sister back home in Worcester. Now there’s a whole can-of-worms etc etc.

This is an advert.

We (HMV) have an exclusive DVD release on Monday. The 2 hours 58 minute Director's cut..............

"By removing Clarke from the table, Bush put him in a box where he could speak only when spoken to. No longer would his memos go to the president; instead, they had to pass though a chain of command of national security adviser Condoleezza Rice and her deputy, Stephen Hadley, who bounced each of them back."

Well at least this year I managed to get tickets! Over the past few years I've tried to get tickets for the llgff. They were always bloody sold out!! The tickets for the three films I'm going to see arrived at home today. Pop along to the NFT on the South Bank over the next two weeks and say "Hi". I'll be the one reading the Guardian Guide darling. Pretentious? Moi? Of course!

I feel very...................



..............today.

I watched the rugby at the weekend in a local pub (“for local people”) on my own. I thought I’d visit the place as it’s recently been done up and looks very new and shiny now from the outside plus I’m a keen fan of supporting local business, events etc. The ‘going on my own’ bit made my a little nervous as it’s a ‘straight’ pub. That’s not a pub in a straight line or anything like that, no, it’s a pub that ‘straight’ people go to (i.e. people that are not gay or lesbian). I thought it would be full of loud, fat, tattooed men shouting “COME ON ENGLAND” at the huge TV screen in the back room. In fact I was the only loud, fat tattooed bloke in there, very strange. I recall hearing only one swearword and that came from my lips. I think I’m a bit butch you know? “Butch you are young Robert” as Yoda would say.

Aston Villa lost two nil. Kidderminster lost 4 – 1. Thank god for the England rugby team!

Kraftwerk were excellent. I can honestly say that it was one of the best gigs (that’s youngsters talk for concerts) I’ve been to. I knew I was in for a good night when they started with the title track from the Man Machine album. Wonderful. It was great to hear The Model, Autobahn, Tran-Europe Express, The Robots, Tour De France, Computer World etc etc. The new stuff is equally as good. I went with a friend who is younger than me and he was just curios about them having only ever heard the Tour De France track. He came away a huge fan! One thing that shocked him was the fact that Autobahn was released in 1974. It’s hard now to comprehend the impact of that record back then. The last time I saw them was back in 1982. I’d happily wait another 22 years to see them again if the show was as good as Thursday nights. If you’re going to the Brixton show on Saturday I’m green with envy.



Look! One of them moved!

I’m a bit girly girly excited at the moment, I’m off to see Kraftwerk on Thursday!! HURRAH! Does anybody remember that version of The Model by Snakefinger?

Oh well, it’s not like it came as a shock to be honest. My current ‘other half’ and I are no more as of today. I must confess to now being VERY cautious about going out with someone who has come out of a long-term relationship, lot’s of baggage. It was a relief to bring it up with him and get it sorted. I’m nothing if not practical in these situations.

I feel a bit like this today...........

Bloody hell. I think I need to go and see a bright, happy film soon. This evening I went to see ‘Thirteen’. On the back of my recent viewing (Monster, Northfork, Laurel Canyon) I most definitely need a session with Carry On Cleo.

Out in Walthamstow last night for a curry with a friend and we found out they don't take American Express! I didn't even get the offer of a tit rub!

Bloody hell! I used to like Michael Parkinson I really did. I caught his interview with Patrick Stewart last night and whilst most of the interview was interesting Parkinson once again droned on about his Yorkshire roots, how deprived life was for him, having an outside loo etc. For gods sake Parkinson will you just stop going on about it! He really is the worst example I’ve ever come across of an inverted snob!